Entendu ce matin sur Europe 1 :

 

Anne Hidalgo veut faire interdire les voitures ESSENCE dans Paris, à partir de 2030

 

(ça doit être un bordel dans sa tête a celle là…..J’voudrais pas habiter là)

Modifié 12 octobre 20177 a par patatrac

Véronique Sanson a vendu son âne car il crevait de faim...

Certains d'entre nous pratiquent le métier le plus dangereux du Monde : "retraité"......Personne n'y a survécu

:2 (20):Quand je me réveille le matin avec la tête dans l'cul, j'suis bien content de n'être ni un cerf, ni un élan.

Quand on a des insomnies, on cherche à échanger son matelas de plume contre un sommeil de plomb

Quand la nuit s'annonce courte, il faut placer un carbone sous son oreiller pour doubler son temps de sommeil.

Si l'homme a tant de mal à voir le boncôté de la femme, c'est parce qu'elle est trop souvent assise dessus.

Une douche sans eau, c'est une DUCHE.

- Chéri, t'as pris une douche ?

- Pourquoi, y'en manque une ?

Paradoxalement, on peutmettre un aveugle en garde à vue et libérer un sourd et muet sur paroles.

Pour le weekend prochain :

 

 

[TABLE]

<tbody>[TR]

[TD][TABLE]

<tbody>[TR]

[TD]Comment retenir si on avance ou on recule d'une heure ?[/TD]

[/TR]

</tbody>[/TABLE]

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD][TABLE]

<tbody>[TR]

[TD]

Octobre

se termine par RE

donc on REcule l'heure

 

Avril

commence par AV

donc on AVance l'heure.

 

Dans la nuit de samedi à dimanche, à 3h il sera 2h ![/TD]

[/TR]

</tbody>[/TABLE]

[/TD]

[/TR]

</tbody>[/TABLE]

merci pierre

 

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Pour lui brouter le mont de Vénus...

<o:p> </o:p>

Il n'y a pas de vie compliquée,il y a juste des personnes qui te compliquent la vie.<o:p></o:p>

Le choix du vin pour Laurent c'est blanc et Tapi rouge...

<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]-->VIEILLIR" C'EST QUAND... 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Name="Table Colorful 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Columns 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Columns 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Columns 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Columns 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Columns 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 5"/> <w:LsdException 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Priority="34" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException 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Au réveil, la célébration fait place à la gueule de bois.

La nuit, les filles se moquent éperdument du prince Charmant, ce qu'elles attendent, c'est le loup.

Samedi soir.

Si y'a bal, trou d'bal.

Si y'a pas bal, peau d'bal.

<o:p> </o:p>

Fermez les yeux et imaginez un monde peuplé de connards! Maintenant ouvre les yeux… vous y êtes! Magie!<o:p></o:p>

Si une jeune femme vous dit: "J'aimerai voir la maison ou t'habites" demandez-lui si elle ne veut pas voir la maison d'abord.

C'est un peu comme :

"Tu veux un whisky ?"

 

"Oui, un doigt"

 

"Tu veux le whisky d'abord ?"

Faut-il considérer un pou sur la tête d'un chauve comme étant un "sans abri" ?

En Octobre on change d'heure pour fairedes économies d'énergie qui permettront aux mairies d'installer des décos deNoël visibles depuis l'espace.

Chaque fois que vous faîtes l'amour avec votre conjoint (e), mettez 1 € dans une tirelire, dans 1 an, vous aurez le budget de son cadeau de Noël